We’re all familiar with that feeling of frustration and distress that arises when we need to finish a task on our computer and, after clicking somewhere on the screen, nothing happens. Maybe the screen colours fade and that fateful ‘Not responding’ pops up at the top, or we end up staring at that circle that keeps turning…and turning…and turning - to no avail.
In that very moment, your stress indicator is likely flashing bright red. Questions along the lines of “Did the program I was using save my work before it stopped responding? Will everything be lost? Can I recover my work after the program starts up again?” will merrily trace the tightest of circles in your mind.
Those are the questions that arise out of a fear of loss. Fear that is spawned and fed by prior experience.
We, ourselves, freeze in that very moment. Just like the program, we had put all our faith into it. We’ve been here before. We know what might happen. We might lose everything. We might have to start over. What a setback!
And so, we stare for another instant at that faded-out screen or the whirring circle – hopeful. But nothing happens. The now-what-moment has come. We know that feeling of dread. We know what’s at stake. And, at the same time, we know there’s only one solution. We can’t just walk away from everything and forget about that frozen task that this ill-functioning piece of technology is holding hostage. It’s a true no-win scenario because we’re not even offered an option of paying some sort of ransom to fix the issue and forget about it. The likelihood of incurring a certain loss is overly obvious. But we also know that hitting those fateful 3 keys to bring up the task manager is our only chance.
It is a leap of faith. We hope that our work has somehow been saved somewhere in the depths of the machine before us. We’re ready to cling to that hope, to run the risk of losing it all. - Or maybe not quite yet…? Refusing to accept the undesirable – to avoid calling it the inevitable – we grant ourselves one more moment of hesitation, as we contemplate the possibility of waiting for the circle to stop whirring or our screen to come back to life out of its own accord. But, since we’re not entirely new to this, we ‘know’ somehow, deep inside that’s not going to happen. Chances are that even hours or days of waiting would change nothing about the current dilemma. So, CTRL + ALT + DEL it is.
The task manager opens, showing us clearly what’s not working properly. And this one single process is holding up the entire system! With a bit of a cringe, we choose ‘End task’ and wait. It takes a moment but, then, the task disappears and the percentages at the top of the columns come back to life. We’ve done it. There’s a feeling of relief – and fear. Because we’re still uncertain if all our previous work was saved. If we have to do it all over again or if it only stopped saving our work a few moments before the system gave up. Mustering a maximum of hope, we click on the program, ready to unveil the answer it holds for us. We face the result – as it comes. With either a sigh of relief because our work was – thankfully – saved, or a bit of a grunt because we can see that the system stopped saving several minutes before actually giving up altogether. The immediate thought that follows this realisation is: “Can I reproduce what I’ve lost? I’ll have to try.” The last and least desirable outcome, however, is the program opening to a screen full of nothing. There’s no recovery link to a backup from which we could restore our work. There are no files anywhere that suggest that any of the previous efforts have been saved. Depending on your character and environment, you might react with a more or less visible and audible outburst, letting your emotions flow – but, eventually, knowing that it won’t help fill the void, you simply start over. You muster the discipline to shove away the temptation to grieve what’s gone for all time, to rant about what cannot be changed and to concentrate instead on fixing the problem by starting over – once more.
The interesting thing at this stage is that it offers us a unique chance, namely to get a glimpse into what we are truly capable of: while we will be unable to recall the exact same wording we had produced earlier, we will remember the general logic we had followed. And, while we are in the process of retracing our steps, we begin to see aspects that we had not noticed before. This effect is the result of our dynamic mind. Because unlike a computer, we do not only have a ‘memory’ but an actual mind that is capable of learning, of making new connections, of physically growing, of progressing. It is more than likely, that our final product will deviate considerably from our first version. And rightfully so. Because just as re-ironing an already ironed shirt will flatten the fabric, even more, our mind has worked out some additional creases. We’ve improved not just what we’ve produced, but we also have become a better version of ourselves. We have learned. We have progressed.
Contemplating this complex process, which we’re all familiar with from our work life, it becomes clear that the same logic can be applied to how we function – or not – when it comes to what’s happening inside of us. It clearly demonstrates that one system failure does not have to be a verdict of eternal doom. That by deliberately paying some sort of ransom (that was never owed) to a hostage-taker that won’t ever release its prey, we artificially keep alive the very ‘thing’ that robs us of the valuable chance to improve our situation, to grow, to learn, to look back at our path and be proud of the progress we have made. It shows that, if we resolve to take control, to alter our behaviour and to erase what has been weighing us down, we get the chance to start over and live life again – differently - and likely better than before. That we learn and progress while repeating the task – which is to endeavour to live our life in a productive way. And that it is in fact our conscious choice - whether we decide to remain stuck in an unproductive situation loaded with negative emotions, or whether we muster the discipline to hit those 3 ominous keys that grant us a fresh start. It takes courage to resolve to hit those keys – but therein lies our sole and preciously unique chance for progress, improvement and growth.
Do you feel like you’ve been watching a whirring circle in your life? Is there an aspect in your life that you have reacted to by ‘Not responding’?
Then, it might be time to hit Ctrl + Alt + Del.
I’ll be glad to help you find the keys.
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